Battlefield of the Heart
by Scarlet Hanson
Summary: In the midst of the second world war, Indiana finds herself in love with Germany, a man that her father is intent on fighting. As the war rages on, she finds herself unsure of her feelings. OCs and human names, ratings may change.
1. Prologue: Memories in the Rain

Prologue

"Memories in the Rain"

_Saturday, April 11, 2001_

"Hey, Sarah, is there anything you need help with?" Lulu asked me eagerly, stepping into the doorway of my kitchen. Her light brown eyes gleamed eagerly, her luscious brunette curls swept up into a ponytail. I smiled at my sister, who happened to look nothing like me. I was pale compared to her olive skin. I was also a blonde, my hair cut to my shoulders and my eyes blue.

"Yeah," I told her with a smile as I scrubbed the floor, "could you please get that box in the living room? Just set it on the table, please and thank you."

She nodded, left for a minute, and came back with the box. "Now," she grunted as she set down the dusty cardboard box, "with our father, it's a wonder you have the manners you do."

"You can thank Arthur for that," I joked, knowing that inside I was far from laughter. I finished scrubbing the last tile in my kitchen and dumped the bucket of soapy water I had been using in the sink.

"What's wrong?" Lulu asked as I just stood in front of the sink for a moment.

I forced a smile as I replied, "It's nothing. I'm fine."

"Do you think I can't notice that it's storming like crazy outside? That's a sure sign of internal conflict."

"Rain is good for the crops." At her unbelieving glare, I decided to fess up. "I don't know Lulu. I've just been thinking a lot today."

"About what?" she asked, sitting down at the kitchen table.

I paused before answering. "World War II." I looked up from the sink at her to see her normally tan face had gone pale. "Forget I said anything," I added. "It's such a touchy subject."

"No, it's fine," Lulu replied stiffly, tears welling in her eyes from the memory. She touched a spot just above her left hip, and I knew she was touching the spot where her scar was. She was lightly touching that infamous scar that still made the hearts of our people bleed, where Kiku had stabbed her in the war.

I wiped my hands on a dish towel and went to hug my sister. "Please. Forget it."

"It's just…" Lulu wiped her eyes after pushing me back a bit. "It's a _very_ touchy subject. For both of us."

I froze upon hearing Lulu's words. "Indeed." I turned to do more housework before Lulu caught my wrist.

"Enough cleaning for today," she commanded. "We're going to talk." She indicated the chair across from her, and I sat down. "What have you been thinking about?"

"Well…"

"Oh. It's about _him_, isn't it?"

I sighed, "Yes, it is."

"Well, talk to me. You never did tell me the full story. You said I needed time to get over what had happened."

"You _did_ need time."

"Well, I'm over it now," Lulu interrupted, ignoring my outburst.

"Okay." I sighed, massaging the bridge of my nose with my fingers. "It is mostly, no, almost _entirely_ about him. I've been thinking a lot about the war, and if, maybe, things could have turned out differently."

At my pause, Lulu took my hand in her two and smiled at me. She knew as well as I did that this story would not be an easy one to tell.

"Tell me everything," she pleaded, "about the war, about you, but most of all… tell me about Ludwig."

**A/N: I'm baaaaaack! And I've (somewhat) revised the plotline of this story. With any hope, I won't have to take it back down.**

** A few pointers: Sarah is an OC for the state of Indiana, and Lulu (derived from Lucy) is Hawaii. World War 2 setting, lots of angst, romance, comfort, history, and many more!**


	2. Chapter 1

Chapter 1

Politics and Meetings

I tapped her pencil impatiently, waiting for the meeting to be over. _Come on, only five more minutes!_

Sitting next to me, Lulu patted my hand gently. Also known as Hawaii, the beautifully tan girl was my best friend. Externally, we were polar opposites. Lulu was tan with luscious dark brown hair and light brown eyes. I was pale, with dirty blonde hair cut at my shoulders and blue eyes. She was also shorter than me, only 5'2" to my 5'7". She was the youngest of us, still not even a state yet. So she was assigned to follow me around and observe how states handle their business. She didn't particularly want to become a state, or have anything to do with the U.S. But being a state, with labor laws and representation in government, is better than being a territory that is used for its resources and exploited. So Alfred made her a deal: she would let him set up a military base on her island, and go through an apprenticeship with Indiana, and he would talk his boss into adopting her.

Everyone loved Lulu anyway. When we first took her in, she was named Lucy, but she couldn't say her name properly. So it became Lulu. She was the dearest person in the world to me, as she triggered my maternal nature. I was assigned as her caretaker when we took her in, as I was the only person that she would let hold her. She later became very close to Silas (Alaska).

Two more minutes passed by as the original colonies practiced politics. Meaning they were screaming at each other over modern issues, trying to prove each other wrong on arguments that had no clear answers. I preferred to stay out of such conversations, as they seemed to get our country nowhere.

Don't get me wrong, I've got some weight in these meetings. Having an impressive population for my size, I held more electoral votes than expected. Alfred always valued my opinion, and heeded my calm words of advice. My words reflected the ideas and opinions of the farmers and working class citizens. My biggest cities were Gary and Indianapolis, which were minor cities compared to Los Angeles or even Chicago.

With only one minute left, Alfred stood up and made an announcement. "Alright, you guys, settle down!" He actually put his burger down for once, indicating his level of seriousness. "Tomorrow, you guys are coming to the world meeting for observation. These state meetings resolve close to no issues, and the other nations have agreed with me that this is the solution." He took a bite of his burger and grinned. "So tomorrow, we're getting on a plane to Berlin and you're going to see how heroic I am at these meetings! Dismissed!"

Lulu looked up at me with bright eyes when he left. "Can… Can I go, too?"

"I'll look into it," I assured her with a gentle smile. "You _are_ a potential state, after all."

She sighed with exasperation at that. "My poor people… we're just sugar cane farmers you know? And since I'm not a state, the labor laws don't apply…" Her face fell as her voice trailed off.

I felt so bad for her. I only wanted to put a smile on her face, so I stood up and pulled her out of her seat. "Come on! We'll ask Dad now!"

"Now? Mr. Alfred has to be busy with more important things…"

"No way! He _just_ left, Lulu!" I dragged her out of the meeting room, giggling. My older siblings scoffed at the sight, but I didn't care. I didn't care about being proper when it came to Lulu's smile.

I knocked on Alfred's office door. Upon hearing his approval, I walked in with Lulu still in hand. "Hiya, Daddy!" I sang.

"Oh no, 'Daddy'?" he laughed. "You want something, don't you?" He didn't look up from his paperwork.

If I was a human, I'd be about 19. Lulu would only be about 12. So using the little girl voice and calling Alfred "Daddy" still touched a soft spot in his heart.

"Well, I was thinking. I want to bring Lucy to our meeting tomorrow."

Alfred sighed and looked up at me. "Sarah, sweetie… I don't know about that…"

"Come on!" I pleaded. "Lulu is a state in training isn't she? So if she's going to be a useful state soon, shouldn't she know how to conduct a proper, _democratic_ meeting?" I placed a special emphasis on the word, knowing how big-headed he was getting about democracy lately. That was the useful thing about my age. I was young enough to sweet talk him, but old enough for my words to be heard and noted.

"You have a point…" He smiled up at Lulu. "Okay, Lucy. You can go to the meeting. I'll take care of everything!"

"Yay!" she cried out, running to him and hugging him around the neck. "Thank you, Mr. America!"

He hesitated before hugging her bag lightly and correcting, "Not Mr. America. That makes me sound so old. And professional. No way, call me Alfred, at least!" He pulled away from her, having not wanted the contact to begin with. "Now go pack, Lucy."

Lulu ran out, giggling, and Alfred stopped me when I went to leave behind her. "Wait here, Sarah. I need to talk to you."

"Yeah, Dad?"

"You know you're in charge of Lulu while we're in Berlin. I'm a little worried about letting her go with us, because… How do I put this?"

I sat down in the chair across from him at his desk. "What's going on in Hawaii?" I asked seriously.

"Sarah, it's going to be Hell trying to get Lulu to be a state. Our government is making so much money on her exports of sugar cane. And as long as we're in this depression, that's all they care about. Making Hawaii a state would mean the labor laws would apply there."

"And the profit would decrease," I finished for him, tears welling in my eyes. "Dad, are you saying that Lulu won't ever be a state?"

"I'm saying that I'm trying my hardest, but as long as America is short on money, Lulu has little chance at statehood." Upon seeing my face, Alfred beckoned me to come over by him. I did so, sitting on the ground in front of him and laying my head in his lap. "Don't worry yourself about it, Sarah. I'll save the day!" he proclaimed in an attempt to cheer me up.

But I knew better. There had been other times that Alfred had been powerless to the politicians' will. He would try his hardest, as a true hero would, but he could still fail. I held back my tears and looked up at him. "Promise me, Daddy. Promise you'll try your best."

"I promise, sweetie." He kissed my forehead and smiled. "Don't cry; I'll do everything I can. Now dry those tears and help your sis— _assistant_ pack. She's not used to long trips."

I nodded, placed a smile on my face, and left. Lulu couldn't _not_ become a state because of those bureaucratic pigs. I wouldn't let that happen. I went outside, and saw Lulu waiting outside with a cab. I smiled at her and we went home.

She and I packed together, as I coached her on the essentials to bring on long trips and whatnot. We went to sleep together in my bed, as we normally did, and talked excitedly about our adventure that tomorrow would hold. I let my dad's somber words float out of my mind as I absorbed Lulu's hyper mood. I'd worry about all that tomorrow at the meeting.

We fell asleep to the sound of our own laughter and excitement.

What I didn't know back then was how much that one world council meeting would change my life.

* * *

**A/N: DON'T KILL ME FOR THIS SUPER-LATE UPDATE! My computer crashed and I am using my brother's. (Without his permission, mind you.)**

**After much soul-searching (laying around the house), deep thought (fangirl conversations about Hetalia), and consumption of different ideas (more like junk food), I have begun work on **_**Battlefield**_** once again! A quick warning, the rating of this story may change with time, as the plot line gets kind of intense. **

** And the song of inspiration today was none other than Kelly Clarkson's "Because of You". I've been listening to that a lot lately, and it has cured a lot of my writer's block.**

** Also, I'd like to say right now that I love all the American voice actors for Hetalia! I hear a lot of negativity about this subject, but I am very happy with the results so far! I especially love Japan's "Engrish". XD**

** That's all for now, please review, and see ya laaaaater!**

** ~Scarlet Hanson**


	3. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

The Handsome Waiter

As we got off the plane, I looked all around me at the airport. I loved to be in Germany, where the people minded their own business and left you alone for the most part. Lulu bounced excitedly next to me as I remembered that she had never been off American soil before. I took her hand as any good big sister would have and lead her through the airport, smiling knowingly at her growing animation. We gathered our suitcases, as we had flown is our private jet, soon to be named the _5o States Airway_. All we had to do was admit Alaska and Hawaii as states, and the jet would be renamed.

We each took our separate routes to the hotel, some riding the bus, others walking, and others hailing cabs. I, myself, hailed a cab and pushed Lulu in.

"Germany is so cool!" she exclaimed, peering out the window.

"I keep forgetting that this is your first time out," I told her, laughing.

She took my hand and gripped it tightly. "Thank you so much for convincing Daddy to let me come!"

"It was no problem, really." I tried as hard as I could to push me and Dad's conversation out of mind. I was successful—for now.

Upon arriving at the hotel, Lulu and I checked in and got to our room. We had three hours till the World Conference meeting started, so I turned to Lucy.

"So what do you want to do now, Lulu?"

She made a cute pondering face as the thought about her answer. "I'm hungry," she said after a pause, "and I've never had authentic German food."

"We'll have lunch on me, then! But we should get ready for the meeting first, so we can go straight there afterwards."

She agreed, and we got ready. We showered, brushed our teeth, and changed into our business clothes. Lulu wore a cute pink sundress with a white floral pattern, with her hair pinned up in the back. She left her bangs down to frame her childish face. I wore a more serious outfit. One that meant I was not to be bargained with. I put on my white blouse, simple yet refined, and a blue-grey suit skirt. I wore my hair out of my face in a tight bun, except for one lock in the front that I curled and left down.

We went back outside and I hailed another cab. "Tiergarten Quelle." I instructed the cab driver.

"Can you speak German?" Lulu asked, amazed.

"Only enough to survive. I told him the restaurant to go to, my favorite. You'll love it there."

When we got into the restaurant and were seated, I helped Lulu with the menu. I took in everything about the restaurant, how the place was nice enough, but still a bit run-down. I sighed, knowing that the Depression had hit Germany the hardest. Add French war reparations to that, and you have one very bankrupt nation. It was so sad; we were the only costumers in the building.

The waiter, a man no older than 20, came to our table and smiled down at us. "_Kann ich nehme Ihre Bestellung?_"

"Ah…" I hummed, realizing I hadn't decided what I wanted to eat. That, and I couldn't stop looking up at the man in front of me. He was so prim and proper in his uniform, his shirt tucked in perfectly and his apron tied securely and neatly into place. This black and white covered body was much too neat and secure to be in Germany at a time like this.

Then there was his face, which was otherworldly. Piercing, ice-blue eyes looked into mine, his lined with a bit of red and underlined by black circles, both sure signs of stress and lack of sleep. But, despite that, they still seemed to bore into my soul in less than a second. Between them was a long, straight nose that led my eyes to his full lips. His bright blond hair, shining even in the dim light of the establishment, was slicked back out of his face. Without even knowing why, I was profoundly attracted to this man on a deep level. I could sense his stress levels that tainted his beautiful face, and I instantly wished I could ease this man's tension.

My eyes wandered down to his chest, my cheeks flushing as I mentally chastised myself for wanting to see said chest unclothed. His nametag, perfectly straight on his right breast, read "Ludwig". _Such a strong, German name,_ a voice mused somewhere in my mind. I cast it out, doing my best not to stare at his muscle-ridden arms—_Damn, too late—_and smile up at him.

"_Brauchen Sie mehr Zeit?_" he asked with a knowing smile, even if it was somewhat strained.

"_Ja, bitte._" I replied with a small laugh.

He nodded and turned to leave when Lulu asked, "What just happened?"

I laughed again. "I haven't decided what I wanted yet."

"Um, excuse me, miss…" I heard someone speak up. When I looked up, I saw Ludwig still standing next to the table, looking nervous. He seemed to be apologetic for intruding on my business, which charmed me into listening to him.

_My God, he's handsome!_ I found myself staring and brushed a strand of hair out of my face to snap myself out of it.

When he saw I was listening, he said, "Might I suggest the _Jaegarschnitzel_? It is my personal favorite…" He trailed off, looking down in embarrassment.

"Oh, thank you!" I smiled at him. "I will definitely try it."

"Glad to help. Are you not from around here? You sound American." He laughed once.

"Actually, we are. I'm Sarah, and this is my sister, Lucy."

"Sarah and Lucy," he repeated, nodding once at Lulu in introduction. "What would you like to have today, Lucy?"

She pointed out the picture on the menu, and he nodded, writing it down on his pad. "And what to drink?" he asked.

Used to the sweet nectar of his voice by now, I didn't hesitate. "Just water," Lulu and I said at the same time, letting out small giggles afterwards.

Ludwig seemed surprised at our outburst, and then wrote that down as well. He had an expression that seemed to say he was used to unusual behavior. "That'll just be a minute, ladies." He gave a small, stiff bow.

"_Danke,_" I thanked, smiling my best. He hesitated for a second, his gaze lingering on my face. I blushed, looking at my hands hastily, and he soon did the same as he rushed to the back to give the cook our order.

"You two were ogling at each other!" Lucy accused as soon a Ludwig disappeared from sight, a grin working its way across her face.

Not wanting to lie, and knowing that Lulu would see right through it if I tried, I admitted it. "I _was_ staring at him, yes, but I doubt he was returning my gaze."

"Um, hello? I saw the whole thing. There was mutual staring."

"Well, I don't—" I shut my mouth immediately when Ludwig returned with our drinks. He set them down in front of us, looking at me again in time to catch my eye for a second before I looked away again, too shy for my own good. He looked confused, decided to let it drop, and walked into the back again.

The silence was unsettling, broken only by Lulu's chat. I half-listened, nodding when the conversation called for it. If Lulu noticed that I wasn't really paying attention, she didn't say anything about it.

It just blew my mind that there was nobody else there. _Nobody_. And that led to my mind wandering to Ludwig again. What was his story? What had led to him working in a place like this? Could he even afford living on his own with such a low-end job in one of the world's poorest countries? Was he a student, lucky enough to have rich parents? I doubted it, having seen his haggard expression. Was he on his own, working more than one job to make ends meet? I could relate. I'd been there.

I figured I wouldn't get an answer to these questions, and let myself settle for unanswered questions. Ludwig returned a while later with our food, prompting another glance-stealing contest between the two of us. I looked up shyly at him, and his face turned bright red as he averted his gaze. He set down our plates in front of us, and I noticed that he still had another plate. My mind puzzled at who it was for; no one else had walked in while we were waiting. As if to answer my question, he set the plate on the table behind Lucy and sat down so that he was facing me.

Oh. He was on break. Eating lunch. Okay.

I cut the meat while Lulu continued to interrupt the silence with her chatter. Every time my eyes would flit from Lulu's face to Ludwig's, he would be looking at me. We both would look away quickly, pink tinting our cheeks. I suddenly felt very self-conscious, afraid that he would be appalled by any wrong move I made. Knowing my tendencies for klutziness, I slowed my movements, taking small bites and taking care not to knock over my water glass in a clumsy moment.

Ludwig was finished with his meal much before me, cleaning up his table and heading to the back once more to dispose of his dishes. He didn't return until Lulu and I were finished eating, and brought us our check. I put in the necessary amount of money, counting exact change. I didn't put a tip in the billfold. He returned to retrieve it, and I gave him my best smile once more.

"Please excuse me, but can you escort us to the door?" I asked politely, prepared to be more forceful if I had to.

He looked confused again, his cheeks a bit pink. He nodded stiffly, seeming very awkward and nervous. He walked with us to the door, where I turned to him.

"Thank you, Ludwig," I said kindly, extending my hand to shake. He took it after a moment, gently gripping my hand. I reveled in the warmth of his touch before remembering my original quest. I took his hand, holding his palm open as I put my other hand on his. I looked him in the eye during this, taking care not to reveal the pity I felt for him. I closed his palm, took Lulu's hand, and left before he could open his palm to reveal what I had placed in his hand: an American ten dollar bill.

"You should go back in there and talk to him some more." Lucy insisted as we walked away. "Maybe you two can arrange a date!"

"Lulu," I began. I hated explaining this to my brothers and sisters. "As states, we cannot become tangled with humans."

"You mean, we can't date humans?"

"No. We must never do that. We are immortal, only able to be killed by the destruction of our land, people, and government. To get involved with humans… Lulu, it would just be too painful, honey."

She shook her head. "I don't understand."

"You will."

We walked the rest of the way in silence. When we got to our meeting room, we started the search for our seats. Lulu was placed next to Seychelles, France's colony. I took mental note to keep an eye on Lulu at all times, because she was only seated one person away from Francis himself. And that could be dangerous for her innocence.

I searched for my seat as others began to show up. I found my seat at long last, but it was very far away from Lulu. I wondered how that could have happened, as she was listed as my assistant. I sat down and waited for the others to show up. Alfred came in two minutes later with the usual burger in his hand, and gave me a thumbs-up. I smiled when I saw his jacket. Instead of the usual business coat, he was wearing the jacket the states had given him yesterday for his birthday. It was made of brown leather, with soft fur lining and a big white 50 on the back, which was meant to represent to fifty children who had given it to him.

North Italy sat on my right, letting out a sigh of "Ve~~" as he sat down. "I wonder when Germany is getting here…" he wondered out loud.

I gave him my best smile and said, "Hello. I'm Indiana." I extended my hand for him to shake.

"Ve~? Are you a new country?" he asked as he shook my hand. The curl on the side of his head lowered as he gave me a confused look.

"No. I'm one of the United States."

"Oh~ well I'm Italy, Indiana!" As his excitement returned, his curl lifted to its original spot.

I laughed at his nature. He reminded me of Lulu. "You may call me Sarah. That's my human name."

"Ah~ Sarah. I'm Feliciano~!" He looked around me, his eyes never seeming to open. "Germany! Germany! Over here~!" he called to someone behind me. He then told me. "The other person sitting next to you is my best friend."

I turned to look at Germany, whose spot was assigned next to me. He was walking towards the seat next to me when we saw each other. When our eyes met, he froze where he stood. His crystal blue eyes met mine and I felt my heart race. The height, the perfect posture, the slicked back blonde hair; it was all too familiar.

"Sarah, this is my friend—" Italy began.

"Ludwig?" I exclaimed, jumping to my feet.

"Sarah?" He asked, a little more calmly than me.

We stared incredulously at each other. I looked back to Lulu for support, but she looked even more shocked than I was. I looked back at him to see him peering at my nametag.

"Well, it's nice to meet you…" he said, looking back at me. "…Indiana."

* * *

**A/N: Whoa! CLIFFHANGER! (kind of?)**

** So Indiana meets Ludwig, and this is where the plot begins. I have to say, I love writing this story for the simple fact that I get to make it as delightfully awkward as I so please!**

** Today's inspiration song: "Chasing Cars" by Snow Patrol. I'm not sure why. That's just how it happened.**

**I'm sorry about the slow update! So I published a little one-shot for you guys, "Still Waiting". Again, sorry!**

** Again, reviews are loved and wanted! I'll hug them and kiss them and tell them I love them every day~! **


	4. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

Ludwig and Germany

"Ve~ … She said to call her Sarah," Italy piped in.

"Oh, she did?" Ludwig, no, _Germany_ looked at me curiously. "Well, okay then… _Sarah_…"

In an unsuccessful attempt to hide my embarrassment, I lifted my chin and extended my hand. "H-hello, Germany."

He shook my hand with a look that said he wanted to run away. "Well," he sighed, "this is unexpected."

"Indeed," I agreed, my face turning a darker shade of red.

"Excuse me, Germany-san?" I heard a voice behind me, and thanked God for whoever it was that was saving me from further torture. I moved out of the way for a small Asian man in a white military uniform. I recognized him as Japan.

"Ah, I'm sorry." He bowed to me first and then held out his hand to shake. "It is very nice to meet you. I am Japan, the country of the rising sun."

I was taken aback as I shook his hand. "Um, I'm Indiana of the United States, the state of… um, corn. That was very poetic, Japan-san." I remembered my manners at the end, hence the honorific.

"Thank you very much." He smiled. "May I have a moment with Germany-san?"

"Of course," I assured him, as he and Ludw—_Germany_ walked out to the hallway to talk. I just sat down in my chair and tried to calm myself down.

Germany, of all countries, had to be _the_ hottest guy in the room. Germany, who everyone in the world, save Italy and Japan, hated. It just _had_ to be Germany, didn't it? My head still reeled from the realization.

In truth, I could not think of him as Germany, the rising Nazi nation. I could not get the name Ludwig out of my mind. I could only see the image of a young man working his hardest in a restaurant, his face showing signs of stress and lack of sleep. Who had been kind enough to suggest something to eat when I had forgotten to make the choice myself.

"Sarah~" Feliciano's soft voice pulled me out of my trance. "Do you like pasta?"

I smiled gently. "Yes, I actually do."

He chattered on about art and pasta as I half-listened until the meeting was called. Japan and Germany came back in to attend, and I felt myself tense when Germany sat next to me.

"Alright!" Alfred called out, causing me to jump out of my skin. "I'll start the meeting, because I am the hero!"

I just stared at him as he talked, not even fully aware of what he was saying. Was he always like this? Is _this_ how he represented our country? No wonder the entire world looked down their noses at us.

Ludwig turned just in time to see me facepalm at my father. I was not the only one with this sort of reaction, either. Lovino looked absolutely enraged, England sighed in frustration but said nothing, and I heard a distinct "Kolkol" from a few seats over. I heard a small chuckle escape the German man's lips and I looked at him murderously. No, this was _not_ funny. My father was making an ass out of all of us here, my brothers and sisters. Germany straightened his face out and looked to my father, listening to Alfred's self-important ramble.

But now that I wanted to, I couldn't focus on Dad's words. I found myself staring at Ludwig—_agh! GERMANY—_out of the corner of my eye. His arms, along with everything else of his, were so lean and muscular. He was five feet and ten inches of pure heaven. I almost gagged when I heard myself think that. What was the _matter_ with me? I sounded like a horny schoolgirl!

I decided to take action after a good half hour of quasi ogling at Ludwig. Germany. Hell, I didn't care anymore.

I passed him a piece of paper with a single sentence written on it.

_**I'm sorry I didn't recognize you in the restaurant.**_

He seemed taken aback by this note, and scribbled me a reply.

_**In all fairness, I didn't recognize you, either.**_

I sighed. Was he really this genuinely understanding?

_**Yes, but I'm just a state. You're a **__**nation**__**. I should have picked up on that.**_

He seemed a little frustrated as he wrote his reply.

_**As should I. I should have been able to sense your presence. So let's stop placing blame and just forgive each other already.**_

I sighed. He was absolutely right, of course. So I wrote in order to avoid admitting that fact.

_**You know, I'm very glad you're not human.**_

He looked puzzled by this. He looked up at me and murmured in his sweet, deep voice. "And why is that?"

"Um." I felt my face get red hot as I thought of an answer to that.

* * *

Lulu looked over at Sarah for a moment to see how she was faring. Seriously, who would have thought that _Ludwig_ was _Germany_? Much less that he was also assigned to sit next to Sarah, who had a monster crush on him?

When Lulu looked up at her, she saw Sarah push a piece of paper over to Ludwig, who read it, looked up at her, and asked her something. Sarah immediately clammed up, and Lulu could tell that she was going to be stammering. Her face turned red as she answered, and then he nodded, seeming a little disappointed by the answer. Sarah seemed to be mentally slapping herself.

Hmm. Lulu would have to ask Sarah later what had happened. Seychelles poked Lulu gently, showing her another picture of her pretty beach. Lulu sighed, remembering home and what she must do to protect her little island people.

* * *

_You seem like a good leader?_ My mind kept repeating. Really? I had my chance to say, "Hey, you are really hot," or something like that. And I said I was glad he was a human, because he seemed like a good leader for his country? I really stumped myself sometimes.

He didn't talk to me for the rest of the meeting, and it took everything in me to not bash my head repeatedly into the table. As soon as the meeting was adjourned (by Alfred, of course), I jumped out of my seat and rushed towards Lulu. I wanted to make sure that Francis had not gotten his hands anywhere near her. Instead, when I approached her, I saw Seychelles smiling down at her.

"Sarah! You have to see this!" Lulu cried excitedly. She was looking at a picture, which she showed to me. It was of a beautiful beach, quite like one of Hawaii's. I smiled at the sight, knowing that Seychelles had earned Lulu's friendship. As a state, international friends would be beneficial. Take me, for example. Even if I was just measly little Indiana, I had a friend that had been one of the most powerful countries in the world for quite some time.

"Poppet!" Speak of the devil. I turned and gave Arthur a tight hug.

"Oh, Uncle Arthur! I've missed you!"

"Uncle?" Lulu asked. "We have an uncle?"

"Well, not technically, but Arthur raised our dad, and the original colonies. That was before our time," I explained. "And shush, Dad will flip if he hears us call him that."

Arthur smiled down at her, and said to me, "She's so pretty for her age." I was surprised by Arthur's tenderness towards her. Usually, he wouldn't be so nice upon a first meeting. (*cough*_tsundere_*cough*)

I had to laugh at that one. "No, I take care of her. Dad's too busy most of the time."

"Well, that explains it," Arthur sighed, ruffling Lulu's hair. She absolutely beamed at his compliment.

"C-can I call you 'uncle', too?" she asked timidly. She looked hurt when Arthur laughed, but smiled brightly at his reply.

"The correct form is _may_, not can," he gently reminded her. "And of course you may, darling." Arthur then had the wind knocked out of him when Lulu gripped him in one of her bone-crushing hugs. He hugged her back, and even picked her up. She laughed delightedly, and was put down.

"Lulu, we have to go now," I reminded her. "Say goodbye to everyone."

"Goodbye, Uncle Arthur." She curtsied, which seemed to delight Arthur as he bowed back. "Goodbye, Seychelles. Goodbye, Uncle Francis." Arthur and I both scowled at that farewell, and I mentally noted to ask her about that later. "It was so nice to meet you all."

I said my goodbyes, and led Lulu out of the meeting room by her hand. When we got out into the hallway and around a corner, she took her hand back and asked, "So, what happened with Ludwig?"

"It's 'Germany', sweetie. And please don't ask."

"Hey, Sarah, where is your—?"

"Sarah!" I heard Ludwig call. _Oh God, please tell me he isn't calling for me. Please tell me there is another nation that, strangely enough, has my name._ I turned around, and there he was, running up to me with my purse in his hand. "You forgot this," he said, handing me my purse.

"That I did." I smiled at I took my purse back from him. We just stared at each other for a minute.

"Well," Lulu interrupted the silence, "I'll be going now. I'll see you back at the hotel, okay?" She ran off as I cursed her for ditching me in this situation. When I looked back at Ludwig, we met eyes for a second before we both looked away with a blush.

"Well, thank you for bringing me back my purse." I turned to leave he said my name again. My knees went weak and my heart fluttered as his voice echoed in my mind, calling my name over and over again.

"Wait." I turned around to see him looking at me with an unfathomable look. "Earlier, when you said you were glad about my not being human—you weren't going to say something else, were you?"

"N-no!" I lied unconvincingly.

He nodded, seeming to want to believe me. And he wanted to get out of this awkward situation. As did I.

"Well… thank you," I said again. "I—I should be going now. Lucy will be waiting."

He nodded again and bowed stiffly. I left then. Neither of us even had the guts to say goodbye.

On the flight home, as all my siblings bickered amongst themselves, I banged my head against the bathroom wall.

* * *

**A/N: I'm sorry I took so long to update! I still have to write some more chapters, and school is starting next Thursday for me. :'(**

**So yeah, the story is slow, I know. I like to jump straight into a story, but these characters aren't ones prone to make the first move. :/ ****I am currently yelling at Sarah to just make a move of any sort, like maybe looking him in the eye for longer than a second! *is guilty of that very thing***

** No particular song that inspired me, but I do have a suggestion to my readers! Check out SkadiPirate on YouTube, his videos are just amazing! He makes Hetalia slideshows. Just go! Look him up! You will become addicted to foreign music!**

** Seeeeee yoooooooouuuuu laaaaaater!**


	5. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

Brother Illinois

_If that's the mailman bringing another stack of paperwork, I swear to God heads will fly._

That was my first thought when I heard my doorbell ring a month later. I was sitting at the honey oak desk in my den, having just finished the mountain of paperwork that had been mocking me just that morning. I set this day aside to do all of my paperwork, as was common for Sundays. That way, they'd be done and over with and Monday would not be as stressful.

But, being a state, sometimes my Senators and Governors would send me last-minute paperwork that would make me pull at my hair in distress and anger. So when my doorbell rang, just moments after I had finished a ridiculous amount of paperwork, I was a little tense as to who it was at the door.

I unwillingly stood up from my comfortable office chair and went to the front door. My joints screamed at me as I did so; I had been sitting at the desk for seven hours straight, only getting up once to go to the bathroom. Lulu had brought me food. When I opened the door, I was met with a lovely surprise.

"Alex!" I cried, pulling my brother into a tight hug. He was taller than me now, even though his human age was 18. Before me was the 21st state, Illinois.

He was African-American, his black hair a buzz-cut. He had light brown eyes, always lit up with excitement and happiness, and chocolate skin that was smooth to the touch. On this particular day, he was wearing a grey suit with a white dress shirt, his suit jacket over his shoulder and held by his index finger.

He laughed, patting my back. "Hey, when I was driving down here, all your people gave me weird looks."

I pulled away, ready with a comeback. "That's cuz Illinois drivers are maniacs!" I accused jokingly.

"Yeah, I guess your people are used to driving tractors," he quipped, earning him a nice punch on the arm.

"Don't make fun of us just because we farm. Crops are better than concrete," I said as he rubbed his arm.

"And more boring," he added, and I administered another punch to his arm. "You're so lucky you're not a boy…"

I laughed, holding the door open. "Come on in." He obliged, and I took his jacket and hung it up in the closet. "Lulu! We have company!" I called to my (not yet) sister.

"Okay!" she called back from the living room.

Alex laughed heartily. "Let her be. She's just a kid," he reminded me.

"She's not a human child, Alex. She has to learn tact and manners before most children."

"Sarah, our dad hasn't learned those things and he's doing just fine in the world."

I narrowed my eyes at him, a bit angry that I had nothing to say to that. "Okay, you never just come for no reason. What's going on?"

It was true. I lived in Gary at the time, and he lived in Chicago. Which meant we were about 45 minutes away from each other, but the drive was still great. So Alex usually only came over if it meant business.

He sighed. "You missed last week's meeting."

"Yes, I had a fever. I needed some time off. And?"

"And you haven't called me to ask the details of the meeting."

Oh. "Oh. Well, I figured it would be like every other meeting."

"Not at all. Can we bring Lucy in? This involves her too."

I felt a pit growing in my stomach as he spoke. Oh great, what was going on now? "Sure, we'll take this to the living room."

We went into my living room, where Lulu reading a magazine on the floor. She sat up when we came in, giving Alex a small smile. The two of them didn't get along with each other the way they got along with me. Their relationship was more professional, not arguing with each other on my behalf. Not that either wanted to argue. Actually, both were too laid-back to argue unless it was truly necessary.

We sat down on my beige couch, Lulu sitting on the floor on the other side of a mahogany coffee table in front of us.

"I'm guessing Alfred never called you," Alex stated.

"No…?" My voice rose at the end, making it sound like a question.

"Cutting to the chase, we're going to the world conference next week." Alex paused to let me facepalm in stress. "So you might want to pack."

"Yeah." I didn't look up from my pathetic pose, face still hidden in my right hand.

"So." Alex broke the long pause that fell between us. "What's for dinner?"

I looked up, my eyes narrowing at him. "I don't recall inviting you to stay for dinner," I reminded him.

He cracked a grin. "You won't kick me out after that drive."

Damn. He saw right through my bluff. I never was a good liar. "I was thinking of ordering a pizza, if you must know."

An hour later, we were munching on fresh pizza, swapping work stories, and laughing as Lulu quietly observed us. Alex was one of the smartest people I know, so our conversation ended up in politics. Specifically the situation in Europe.

Alex was smart, I'll give him that, but our political views clashed. He believed we should join the war, and I thought we should stay where we are and let them be. This wasn't our war, and I wanted nothing to do with their war. The last war had been the undoing of our economy.

Also, I couldn't bring myself to fight Germany. I couldn't imagine standing on the same battlefield as this man, no, this nation. He was rigid, tough; I doubted we had the capability to bring him down. Yes, I feared his Nazi government and their agendas, but we had our own issues to sort out before we went to anyone's aid at war.

I would soon come to realize that none of this mattered. In the course of the four years leading up to 1941, so much happened in my life.

* * *

**Fail, fail, this chapter fails…. It's so ridiculously short and pretty much pointless. UGH I hate this chapter. All it provides is a transition to the next chapter and some background info on Sarah.**

**I felt the need to update because i suddenly got a surge of review from Lybe. Thanj you very much for your input, I'm so flattered! ^w^**

**I'll try to update soon!**


	6. Chapter 5

Chapter 5

Home-stay

Through another boring meeting we sat, none of the states really paying attention. We were seated in the same place as the last time, to the delight of most. And again, I stared at Germany whenever I could get away with it. Like when he gave his presentation. I was justified in just staring at him, and looking down whenever he met my gaze. I didn't think anyone noticed, but then I felt someone's eyes boring into me. I looked over to see Arthur glaring at me, and when our eyes locked he shook his head slightly. I smiled a bit, trying to calm him. But he didn't seem to believe me. I really am a bad liar.

When Germany sat back down, I decided (after a long, agonizing internal struggle) to engage in contact. He sat down to find a piece of paper with a note scribbled on it.

_**Hey, you. How have you been since the last meeting?**_

He looked a bit confused about the intent of the message, and wrote back.

_**I have been well. And you?**_

_**Good.**_ I smiled as I wrote down the one word, grateful that he accepted my attempt at communication.

_**Now isn't exactly the time to "catch up".**_ His note made me frown. Maybe he wasn't accepting my backwards communication.

_**How about we talk afterwards then? Maybe get some dinner?**_

_** That won't be necessary.**_ His blunt rejection caused me to just crumple the paper in my hand and leave it at that. I got his message, and leaned back in my chair with my arms crossed.

Then my father took the stand at the podium. "Oh God," I whispered to myself, much to Ludwig's amusement. _Germany's_ amusement.

Anyway, I tried to make myself shrink as much as possible as Alfred gave another self-important, ignorant speech about how America was the greatest for this reason and that reason. I tried for a while to convince myself that there was no possible way that I was Alfred's child. But, I was about as central as one could get in the U.S., so there was no denying my heritage.

As my father's speech neared its end, I prepared myself to jump out of my seat and run out of there as fast as humanly possible. I had quite a bit of Indian in me, so I could run pretty quickly.

"Oh, and I have one last announcement for my states!" Alfred declared. I tensed, waiting for the final blow. "For the next 30 days, you will not be coming home!" All of us looked up then, surprised by what he had just said. Not going home? "Instead, you will be rooming with a country for the month. Come see me afterwards for your assignment. Dismissed!"

"The meeting is now adjourned," England clarified. "Host nations, please wait for your respective states."

I let the states rush past me, knowing they'd all want to know their assigned host nation first. I could wait till the end. Knowing first wasn't really worth being trampled by, say, Texas.

Some of my siblings looked overjoyed as they got their assignments. Florida, California, and New York all looked up at Francis with a gleam in their eyes. I sighed, knowing that they would probably get as drunk and, um, _lusty_ as possible this month.

Others looked absolutely pissed when they looked up at their host nations with horror, like Texas as he looked up at Ivan. I held back laughter at this, knowing Texas would be going through Hell this month.

Lulu bounced up at me, a giant grin on her face. She had managed to get through all the bigger states and see her assignment. I figured she was with Seychelles, as they had hit it off in the last meeting.

"Guess what?" she beamed up at me. At my stare, she continued, "I'm paired up with you for the month!"

"Oh, great." I wasn't too enthusiastic. I had an uneasy feeling in my stomach. If that was true, then I felt that something bad was going to happen very soon.

"And we're staying with—!" She was cut off by a voice behind me that made me jump at my skin for two reasons: who it was and what he said.

"You're staying with me," Germany informed me.

_Yes, of course I am. That would be my luck. Why me? Does God hate me this much? Why why why why why why—?_

"If you don't mind, I would like to leave now," Germany interrupted my thoughts. "The flight is long, and I'd like to get it over with."

It sounded like he hated flying. Well, that's one thing we had in common. "I agree, let's get it all over with," I said to him, taking Lulu in hand. Only I meant that I wanted to be done with the entire month as soon as possible.

As the states got to know their host countries, Germany opened the door to the meeting room. He motioned for me to go first, and I did.

_I guess dinner isn't necessary. I'll be sharing a house with him for thirty days._

_

* * *

_

After the plane had taken off, Ludwig engaged me in conversation. I mean, _Germany_ started talking to me. _I cannot call him Ludwig; he is my superior,_ I reminded myself.

"So, what are your interests?" he asked me as I was turned to Lulu. I was sitting in the middle seat, Ludwig in the aisle seat and Lulu in the window seat.

"Excuse me?" I turned to face him.

"You interests. Hobbies and… such…?" He began to trail off when he saw the disbelief on my face.

"Um. Gardening I guess?"

"Ah."

"And. Um. Reading?" I was still a bit baffled by the random question. "Why?"

He didn't say anything at that, and I assumed he was asking because he wanted to know me as a person, since we'd be around each other a lot.

"What about you?" I asked after a long pause.

"Oh, you know… the usual..." I had no clue what he was talking about, but I decided not to push it. He already looked as uncomfortable as I felt.

About an hour later as I was reading _Sense and Sensibility_ by Jane Austen and Lulu was asleep on my shoulder, Germany spoke once more.

"You two are close?" he asked me, looking at Lulu.

I smiled a bit, putting down my book. "Yes," I told him, being careful not to jostle my sleeping sister.

"Why?" When he saw my look of confusion, he added, "Well, she isn't a state, so she really shouldn't even be here."

My jaw dropped at his words, anger filling me immediately. _Bad move, kraut. _

"She has every right to be here as much as I do!" I chastised in a whisper yell so as to not make a scene. "Just because she hasn't been adopted yet doesn't make her less than us."

He nodded once, and turned away. He seemed to be upset at himself for angering me so easily. I felt guilty almost immediately upon seeing his regret.

"I'm sorry," I apologized, "it's a delicate topic for me."

"I shouldn't have brought it up." His tone indicated his wish to end the conversation. I let it drop, picking up my book once more.

* * *

_I shouldn't have said anything about it,_ I mentally chastised myself. _Now I've hurt Sarah's—ahem—Indiana's feelings._

I knew I was not too good with emotion, but when someone yells at you it is a good indication that said person is upset. I had learned a bit about emotion from my years with Italy. I figured that Hawaii meant a great deal to Sarah. _To Indiana._

I had a problem with addressing her by her formal title ever since I realized that she was Indiana. I could not help thinking of her as Sarah, the kind, generous woman I had served at my side job.

I also found that I was having a problem with thinking about her entirely too much. The only other person of whom I thought was Italy, and I mostly worried about that fool. But I did not worry about her. No, I mostly wondered. I thought about what sort of things she might like, what kind of person she might be. I wanted to know her well.

The _Führer_ would certainly approve if he saw her. He was exactly what he wanted to see in women: pretty, tall, Germanic, blonde, blue-eyed, and strong enough to bear pure children. I blushed, a bit embarrassed to admit to myself that I was, indeed, attracted to her.

So far she showed a number of good traits. She liked to read, which implied at intelligence. She gardened, which meant that she knew how to take care of living things. That would be very necessary.

_Why am I thinking about this?_ I asked suddenly. I had no answer for myself. _I am getting ahead of myself._

After all, such things should only be thought of after a period of time in which a couple goes on dates. Then one should consider the pros and cons of marriage with another person. I reminded myself of all this, and that the thoughts of her that crossed my mind were very ungentlemanly. Despite this, the thoughts grew in number and intensity.

I focused on keeping my lust to a minimum for the rest of the flight.

* * *

After we got off the plane, through customs, and into a taxi, I realized how Ludwig smelled. And he smelled… _good._

He smelled slightly of wurst, but there was a bit of a woodsy smell as well. A bit of mint, a hint of… _pasta?_ I wasn't going to ask him why he smelled the way he did. The only reason I knew how he smelled was because he, Lulu, and I were all in the same backseat of the cab. He had offered to take a different cab, but I insisted that we share one and save money. He had looked at me with interest when I said that, but nodded in agreement.

I was so close to him in the taxi. I loved it and hated it. I loved it because I could feel his warmth, which radiated from his body and soothed me in a strange way. My skin tingled at any contact we made, whether our arms brushed against each other or he shifted in his spot, his thigh momentarily touching mine. I hated that I felt this way about him. It was wrong; it was only going to get me in trouble and hurt.

Lulu was only worsening the situation by moving around in her seat, watching all the buildings and people with wide eyes. As I was in the middle seat, her pushing me away only pushed me closer to Ludwig, which I did not mind. Closer to Germany. _To hell with it. It's not like anyone can hear me calling him Ludwig in my own mind._

"Hey, Sarah? Why do those people look so sad?" Lulu asked as we stopped at a crosswalk. I looked where she was looking, and saw the tired, beaten faces that I knew all too well. The look on a mother's face when she doesn't have enough food to feed her whole family, and would have to starve herself yet another night. The look on the father's face, blaming himself for the shortage on money when it was not his fault.

I looked at Ludwig, who was looking intently at me. He was waiting to see what I would say. I cast him a sad look before I gave my answer.

"It's already seven, honey. They're just tired from working all day," I lied through my teeth. I didn't have it in me to ruin her innocence. She looked at me with disbelief, but Ludwig backed me up.

"It's true," he agreed to my surprise. "We owe France quite a bit of money, so all the people are working very hard to pay him back."

She seemed to believe him, and looked back at the faces outside. "They just seem so sad…" she sighed.

I bit my lip at her words, but said nothing.

After quite a drive, we arrived at Germany's house. I was surprised a bit to see that he lived in the country, his house the only one for quite a while. It was a little past eight o'clock, and getting dark outside. I paused for a moment, taking in the sight of Germany's home. The siding was brown, windows perfectly symmetrical and exact. The sapphire color of the sky complimented the house nicely. I was brought out of my stupor when Germany cleared his throat, politely asking me to continue. Germany unlocked the door for us, allowing us to enter before he stepped in.

His house was on the larger side, but signs of poverty were apparent. The furniture looked like it needed to be replaced, one couch actually torn at the armrest. However, every piece was placed with care. Everything was neat and symmetric. The walls were bare of artwork, replaced with what I assumed were replicas of documents, all in German.

Germany took my and Lulu's suitcases from the floor and directed us to our rooms. Lulu was shown to her room, where Ludwig set down her suitcase and bade her goodnight. My room was the next room down, and Ludwig set my suitcase down at the door.

He looked at me with uncertainty. "Well, this is your room," he told me. I nodded in response, keeping eye contact. He blushed a little, looking away. "Well, if there is nothing else you need, then I bid you goodnight." He turned to leave.

"Wait," I heard myself say. _What the hell are you doing?_ I screamed at myself internally. He stopped and turned back to me. "Thank you so much. For letting us stay with you, I mean."

"It's not like I had much of a choice," he murmured, humbled.

"My father told me that the nations all volunteered to host the states. So you didn't really have to do it."

"I don't think I would have asked to host anyone else." As soon as the words were said, Ludwig looked like he wished to take them back. I was in shock.

"Wait… what?" I asked.

His only reply was to mumble "goodnight" and rush off to his own room, his face bright red.

I stood at the door of my room, unsure what to do. Should I go after him and ask what he meant? I settled for going in my room and flopping into bed. This day had been a bit too much for me.

* * *

**I've discovered that Xtra Cheddar flavor blasted Goldfish and Mountain Dew are the best brain food for me. :P **

**By the way, there is a perspective change in there. One part is in Ludwig's POV. See you guys later!**


	7. Chapter 6

Chapter 6

Routines and Plans

I woke up that next morning with a start. I could not remember where I was, and after a few minutes I recalled the previous day's events. I looked out the window to see, as per usual, that I had woken at dawn. I stretched a bit, stood up, smoothed out my white, knee-length nightgown, and headed to the kitchen for a glass of water. In my tired state, I had forgotten that I was in a house that I did not know, and wandered around for a while before finding the kitchen.

When I finally found the kitchen, I stopped in the doorway. Ludwig was already there, absorbing the words of a newspaper and wearing his small reading glasses. He wore a black tank top and blue military pants, worn loose. Not a single wrinkle marked either of the articles of clothing. Even with his hair hanging in his face, he was still as clean-cut as anyone could be.

He looked up from his paper to see me staring, and removed his glasses. "_Guten Morgen_," he said politely, his expression blank as ever.

"Good morning," I replied, trying to beat down the blush rising in my cheeks. "I didn't know you got up this early."

"I was thinking the same about you," he quipped, a bit of interest shining in his eyes. He folded the newspaper and set it on the countertop, placing his reading glasses on top of it.

"Um," I started quite unintelligently, "in my home, we only recently industrialized our cities. We were mostly farmers before then, and we got up at sunrise to get to work. How about you?"

"We Germans like to keep a good schedule," was all he offered as an explanation. "Why is Hawaii not awake?"

"Hawaiians have a more… _laid-back_ lifestyle," I explained delicately.

"I see. Quite like the Italians, then." His face sprouted a small grin, to which I returned a wide smile.

"Yes, quite like that." There was a pause in which we simply smiled at each other before Ludwig asked me a question.

"Was there something you needed?" He returned to his serious, polite mannerisms, the gentle, understanding side of him leaving without a trace.

"Um, not really," I murmured, my smile disappearing as well. I felt hurt by the question, thinking that he wanted me to leave.

"I do not think that you would wander into my kitchen for no reason," he insisted, making me remember my original reason for leaving my room.

"Oh! I just needed a glass of water…" He went to a cabinet and got out a glass, then to the sink to fill it up. "I could have gotten it myself," I protested weakly.

"Nonsense. You are my guest, and I must be a good host to you," he insisted, the glass filling with water. He then handed the glass to me, which I took with a small smile.

I drank slowly, so as to make sure I did not spill any water in a moment of clumsiness. "Anything interesting?" I asked, nodding to the newspaper.

He shrugged. "Nothing I didn't already know."

"Then why buy the paper?" I inquired, curious.

"Again, Germans and routines."

"Ah, I see."

There was a bit of a silence after that, and I sipped my water once more as Germany smoothed out his already perfectly starched outfit. I looked around the room as I set down my glass of water and then faced my host.

"So where do you do business? Are there any federal buildings you go to for work?" I asked.

Seemingly glad that I broke the silence, he informed, "No, I do my paperwork at home. The only business I do outside home is meetings."

I nodded. "That must be relaxing, not having to leave home."

"Not exactly. It means that I never clock out of work," he told me, his shoulders tensing at the thought.

"True. But it beats having to deal with all the people I deal with on a daily basis." I spoke from the heart on that one, thinking of all the normal people I dealt with: mayors, senators, all that lot. I hated politicians.

"I suppose," he ceded. "But, for the most part, I like my leaders." He straightened up a bit more, which I didn't think possible, and picked up his newspaper and reading glasses. "Speaking of which, I must get to my paperwork. I have errands to run today, so I must get all my work done early."

As he went to leave I asked, "When are we leaving? I'll have to wake Lucy up."

"I want to leave at about ten, so she can sleep in."

"No," I laughed, "her idea of sleeping in is about 11."

He chuckled a bit and shook his head. "I deal with Italy. I know the feeling all too well."

I laughed as well, and then he nodded at me and left.

Lulu was reluctant to wake up, but at long last we were out of the house. Germany and I hardly spoke all day; we both felt too awkward to say anything. So, at the end of the day while we were at the grocery store, I was very surprised when Germany started speaking to me.

"How do you feel about dogs?" he asked me.

After a stunned silence I replied, "I – I like them very much."

"Would you like to meet my dogs?" Germany asked.

Shocked, I said, "I didn't realize you had dogs... What breed?"

"I have a German Shepherd, a black lab, and a Golden retriever. They're quite well trained," he added cautiously.

"Y-Yes, I would love to meet them," I told him, still shocked by the fact that he even had dogs.

He nodded, and continued our habit of silence around one another. I felt like such a burden to him; he was hardly able to afford his own groceries without buying for Lulu and me also. Yet I couldn't get his strange confession out of his head, that he had _asked_ to take us in. Why would he do such a thing under the economic strain? I was baffled by the question.

I tried not to think about it for the day, and when we got back to the house it was about five o'clock. Germany immediately went to put the groceries away, and I followed his lead while Lucy went to her room to read.

"Nein, nein, don't worry yourself with this," he insisted gently upon seeing me placing the fruit in a bowl.

"I want to be useful. You're not exactly in the best financial situation."

He walked over and stared me in the face, a gaze I did not return out of shyness. "You are the guest. There is no need," he said.

"I am also an excess. Don't think I don't know what is really going on." I looked him in the eye, and he was strangely expressionless. "I know exactly how bad it is here, with the economic strain. I know you can probably barely afford to feed yourself. At least let me help out in some way."

He gave me a sort of appraising look and stated bluntly, "You're stubborn."

Unsure what to make of that, I laughed once and looked down at my hands. "I'm American." I stole a look at him to find that he looked almost amused. He moved away from me and I smiled to myself. "You're pretty stubborn yourself," I commented.

"_Nein,_" he said from the other side of the kitchen. "I'm trying to do the proper thing as your host. The host should always provide for his guests."

"And women belong in the kitchen, not men," I quipped, my stubbornness really setting in. I looked at him and he seemed to be trying to find a way around my argument.

"You are not a normal woman."

"No, but I am American, and that is what we believe." I turned around fully to face him. "So what am I making for dinner?"

He turned to face me, stiffening. "_We_ are making whatever I have the supplies to make."

I nodded, returning to my original task of the fruit. "Fair enough," I said calmly, although a triumphant march was playing in my mind. "How about Italian?"

He laughed once without humor. "I thought you were going to say American."

"There's no such thing as American food," I told him.

He didn't say anything to that and I smiled to myself.

A week had passed since Lulu and I had first come to Ludwig's house, and every day seemed to be an endless routine. Wake up, get ready, run some errands, cook dinner. All while an oppressive aura of awkwardness took over the house. Ludwig and I spoke broken sentences to each other, afraid to butt into the other's business. All our "conversations" ended up with one of us (if not both of us) blushing and leaving the room.

Then, one day, an interaction took place. Ludwig was at his desk, on the phone with his superior, when the mail came. I went and got it for him, walking into his office just as he was hanging up the phone.

I cleared my throat. "Germany—"

"Ludwig." He said, not looking at me.

"Excuse me?"

"Please call me Ludwig." A small pink blush arose on his cheeks, and I found myself blushing as well.

"Ah… Ludwig," the name felt strange in my mouth, "the mail came…"

"Thank you, Indiana."

"Sarah."

"U-uh…" He looked uncomfortable, and I stared down at my feet.

"Call me Sarah." We looked at each other for a moment, as if in understanding. I allowed myself a small smile.

"Was there anything else you needed?" He asked, looking away again.

My smile fell. "No. That was all." I went to leave when he said something.

"Would you like to go out for dinner?" He choked out, the words crumpled together and sputtered out.

I turned to look at him. "N-no I wouldn't." His face remained composed, but his eyes betrayed the hurt he felt at my rejection. "No don't think the wrong thing!" I rushed to apologize. "It's not you, I just don't like going out! I… I would prefer to stay here… with you… if you don't mind…." My voice got smaller and smaller till the last words were breathed out.

He looked surprised, but then afforded a small smile. "I see…" was all he said.

At that, I left. But as soon as I was a safe distance away from the study, I smiled and laughed to myself. Because I knew that at that moment, Ludwig and I finally saw eye to eye. In our own strange, awkward, inexperienced way, we were finally opening up to each other.

A/N crappy chapter is crappy -.- Next chapter will be better, I promise! I originally intended to write on each day, but the whole first week pretty much went the same, as mentioned.

And before I get beheaded, I've been so busy with school that I haven't written much lately. And I lost my flash drive, so when I did write I had no way of transferring to the interwebs. (my computer no has interwebs). Please have mercy on me! But AP tests are over, so more time has opened up to allow myself time for writing :D I'm excited to be back on task. Nice to have structure in my life again, as German as that sounds.

Oh and I've got lots of ideas I'll be writing for, so please look forward to it! Love you guys! –Scarlet 3


	8. Chapter 7

Chapter 7

On the tenth day of my home stay, I woke to find Ludwig frantically cleaning an already immaculate house. I came out to the living room, where he was scrubbing the hardwood floor. The furniture was covered, making it look new and much better than before. Ludwig had not even bothered to gel back his hair yet, the golden hair failing in his face as he worked. I stood for a moment, wondering if I should ask.

Then I did. "Ludwig, what's got you so stressed?"

He looked up, surprised to hear my voice. He stopped his work for a second and stood, running his hand through his hair. "My boss is visiting later today."

My jaw dropped. "Your—you mean Hitler?" I was overwhelmed by the idea. As a state, the President would never come to my house. But even my senators and governors didn't stop by; I never had work-related visits.

He nodded curtly. "I take it you understand the magnitude of the situation."

"What time is he coming?" I asked, starting to stress out as well.

"About two in the afternoon," he informed me, his hand going back to his side and his hair falling back into his face. I couldn't help but notice how wonderful he looked when his hair was down, falling just above those piercing, crystal blue eyes. I fought against my fluttering heart, reminding myself that Ludwig and I had finally formed a professional relationship, and that I should do all I could to make sure that bond was not shattered.

"Lulu and I can be out today—," I suggested, but I was cut short.

"He's coming to see you."

I just about fell over. "To see _me_?" I repeated, incredulous.

"Ja. It's the sole purpose of his visit. He wishes to meet you and Lucy."

After reminding myself to breathe, I said more to myself than to him, "I'll have to get Lulu up. Go buy new clothes. Get her ready." I looked at the grandfather clock in the room. "It's only seven. I might just have enough time."

"I'll be cleaning," Ludwig stated.

That snapped me back out of my internal plan-making. "Is there anything I can help you with?"

"Nein, nein. I will be fine by myself," he assured me.

"Then… I guess I have to leave for a bit."

He simply nodded. I left the room, rushing to Lulu and throwing open the door. "Wake up!" I called, going to her bedside and shaking her shoulder gently. "Wake up, Lulu!"

She groaned. "…time is it?"  
"Not important. You've got to get up, 'cause we've got a big day ahead of us."

She opened her eyes just enough to glare at me and rolled over. "G' 'way…" she commanded, muffled by the blanket she threw over her head.

"Lulu!" I pulled the blanket off the bed, causing her to curl up from the cold. "Germany's boss is visiting today! This is really important!"

"Don't care."

I sighed in frustration, crossing my arms. "Lulu! We'll be right back! And you can go back to bed."

She rolled out of bed at this, grumbling as she went.

I wasn't lying when I said I'd be right back. We ran out to the closest store and bought nice dresses, rushing back to the house afterwards. I picked a deep green dress, Lulu selecting a pale pink. As soon as we got back Ludwig was done cleaning, and instead was getting ready for the day. Lulu went back to bed as I rushed to shower.

Once we were ready and dressed and pretty, I took a moment to breathe. I then addressed Lulu.

"Don't speak," I told her. "Let Germany do the talking. Only say something if he talks directly to you. Be polite. Stand straight."  
She rolled her eyes at me. "I know, I know."

I gave her a glare and continued. "I'm being serious. We're reflecting on our father."

Rolling her eyes yet again, she retorted, "We represent him better than he represents himself."

I gave her a small laugh at that, and felt my muscles loosen for a brief moment.

Ludwig then walked in. "He'll be here shortly," he stated bluntly. I could see the stress in his shoulders, and repressed the urge to just hug him until he calmed down a bit. Damn maternal instinct.

I nodded to him, straightening myself and turning back to Lulu. "Ready for this?"

"Uh, yeah," she murmured, and I could tell that beneath her sarcasm, she was a bit nervous as well.

I turned back to Ludwig and he told me, "Italy will be visiting as well to discuss business." He left as I gave him another short nod, and Lulu and I followed him to the living room.

The doorbell rang five painfully long minutes later and then he walked in.

The Führer himself. A short, brown haired man with a bitter expression on his face. He wasn't very good-looking to me, but then again, most politicians aren't, I supposed.

After a brief interaction with Ludwig, Adolf Hitler turned to me. "You must be Sarah Jones. It's a pleasure to meet you." He extended his hand, a smile lighting up his face.

"The honor is mine," I assured, shaking his hand. Lulu stood at my side, a small smile plastered on her face. Hitler never tried to acknowledge her presence. If only he had known what trouble her existence would soon cause for him.

Ludwig cleared his throat. "Sir, if you would like to discuss business, my office would be the best place for it."

"Ah, yes." Hitler gave me a nod. "Business calls."

They left at that, and I took Lulu out for lunch. When we got back, the smell of cigars was permeating the house, and I heard a snippet of their conversation as I walked to my room.

Hitler left after a short while of my return, and I walked out to see Ludwig locking his front door. He turned around, sighing.

"I truly hate the last-minute house calls…" he admitted, kneading the bridge of his nose.

"Ja, das tue ich auch," I said, and he stared at me.

"You know German." It was more of a statement than a question.

"I do." I crossed my arms, leaning against the wall. He was silent for a moment, so I said, "A pact with Italy and Japan, huh?"

"You shouldn't eavesdrop."

"I wasn't. And, just so you know, world matters don't involve me or my family. Consider this the… official warning. Don't touch America. And we won't touch you."

He paused, seeming tense, angry, and impressed all at once. "Noted."

"Good. What should we make for dinner?" I changed topics casually.

Seeming thankful for the switch, Germany replied, "I was thinking an American meal. I'll let you figure out the details."

"All right." I set out for the kitchen, seeing what supplies were already in there. Ludwig and I barely spoke for the rest of the day.

**A/N: Gah another crap chapter! I'm sorryyyyy!**

** Next one will me MUCH better, planning some fluff! So the readers won't kill me for not updating… which, I will! I'll try to write a lot more!**

** Also, I'm beginning work on a new story. I'll be posting info on my profile over the course of the next few days. **

** So, hope you enjoyed the chapter, and please look forward to the next one! Love you, my fantastic readers, you!**


	9. Chapter 8

Chapter 8

The next few days of my home stay were very tense, since I had pretty much threatened Ludwig. Ludwig and I hardly spoke, so the only noise made in the house came from Lulu speaking to one of us (mostly me).

On the thirteenth day of my stay, three days after my threat, Ludwig finally broke the ice I had frozen over us. I was sitting in the living room at the time, looking over some paperwork that had been mailed over to me.

"You can use my office if you'd like," Ludwig said suddenly from behind me, making me jump up out of my seat in surprise.

"Jesus!" I exclaimed, "How long were you standing there?" My hand had flown up to my chest in surprise as my lungs now tried to slow their breathing.

"Only a bit. Did I scare you?"

"You're damn right, you did!" My breathing had slowed, and I sat back down.

Ludwig cleared his throat. "As I was saying, you may use my office if you'd like."

I put down my paperwork to look at him. "Aren't _you_ working in there?"

Ludwig shrugged. "We can both use it."

"I would just—." Then a thought dawned on me, and I felt a pink blush rise in my cheeks. "Wait… do you _want_ me to work with you?"

He blushed at this and broke eye contact, instead turning his gaze to the floor as his hand rose to rub the back of his neck. "W-well, I just don't want you to be uncomfortable, ja? And I have space…"

I couldn't hold back the smile, so I turned my head to pick up my paperwork and let myself grin like the idiot I was. When I gathered my papers, I straightened out my face as much as possible and stood.

"Lead the way," I told him, a smile still faint on my lips. He then led me to the office and gave me a spot across from him at the desk. Half the desk had already been cleared, and I knew that he was hoping I'd come in and work beside him. This made me smile like an idiot again. Once I had settled down with my paperwork, I began reading through the materials.

The life of a state, or as a nation, is a curious thing. One would think it would entitle you with power, money, and utmost respect. The truth of the matter is it's a scary existence. If you are not strong yourself, you find yourself at the mercy of more powerful beings. As states, we were all nations once. And one by one, we were conquered. Texas himself was a nation for quite a long time, before turning to Alfred for annexation.

And even when people are given the privilege, the honor, of knowing of our existence, they use us. The only people allowed to know of us are top politicians and military. Politicians just dump their paperwork on us, even though our signature means nothing. My ruling can be easily overturned, as can Alfred's and even Ludwig's. Because, you see, government was not created for nations. It was created for people. And people rule it, in their own corrupt, selfish ways.

I turned this idea over in my head as I pretended to read the papers before me, and subconsciously heaved a sigh.

"Sarah?" I heard Ludwig say in a gentle voice. The fact that he could have a gentle voice surprised me.

"Hm?" I looked up.

"Is something bothering you?" he asked delicately.

I rested my chin in my hands. "Actually, yes." There was a pause in which he awaited my elaboration, so I continued, "I was just thinking… why do I have to do all this work when my opinion doesn't really matter?"

Ludwig sighed at this. "That's a tough question. Every nation asks it."

"And? The answer is?"

Ludwig gave me a half-hearted smile. "Because we have to."

I sighed again, slouching a bit in defeat. "That doesn't really help."

"No, it's not a fair life we live," Ludwig contemplated. "At the end of the day, the single most thing we represent is our people. The average, everyday person. And, if you haven't noticed, almost no government is actually run with the average, everyday person in mind."

"Right. It's all about the fat cats and keeping the rich rich and never really helping the poor." I felt myself getting a bit depressed over the thought.

After a long silence, Ludwig spoke. "Would you like to go out for a while? We could go see a movie."

I sat up, stretching my arms. "That would be… fantastic."

Ludwig actually smiled a bit at this. "Would you mind if I invited someone?"

"Of course not. Go ahead," I assured. "May I ask who?"

"Italy. He just got into town yesterday, and he said he wanted to do something with me soon."

"Ah, I see." I stood up. "I should get ready then shouldn't I?"

Ludwig looked me over. "Aren't you already?"

I looked myself over. "Not at all." He looked confused, but asked no further questions. So I left, going into my and Lulu's room where Lulu was sprawled out on the floor, reading a magazine from home.

"We're going out," I told her. She looked up at me with a small smile.

"Like, more than grocery shopping kind of 'going out'?" she asked hopefully.

I nodded. "We're going to the movies."

"Alright!" She stood up, smoothing out her dress. "Wait… I don't know German."

I ruffled her hair. "I'll translate. Now I have to get ready-."

"You're fine!" she cried suddenly, pushing me out of the room. "Let's just goooo!"

"Alright, alright! Jeez!" I straightened when I saw Ludwig in the hallway staring at us curiously. "We're ready," I explained, my cheeks turning red.

We met Italy at the movie theatre, and he bounded right over to Germany with a cry of "Doitsuuuuu~" and a tight hug that made Ludwig stiffen.

Italy began babbling to Ludwig about this and that before he realized we were standing there. He turned to me and Lulu. "Ve, Doitsu brought pretty girls!"

I laughed and said "thank you" quietly as Lulu just giggled at my side. Italy focused his attention on her.

"What's your name, my pretty lady?" he asked, and I knew it was more to amuse her than anything else.

She smiled brightly. "I'm Hawaii. But you can call me Lulu!"

The two seemed to feed off each other's energy, practically bouncing where they stood as Italy continued his mock flirtation. I backed up a bit, overwhelmed by the energy level, and almost into the street. Ludwig caught me by the arm before I could get myself killed, and pulled me gently back to our group. I blushed but said nothing as he let go of my arm. He turned to the other two and cleared his throat.

"Let's go in," he said sternly.

Italy straightened, never losing his grin, and saluted Ludwig with his left hand. "Yes, sir!" he cried happily, prompting a facepalm from Ludwig and giggles from Lulu as I just watched.

We walked in, purchased our tickets, and went into our respective theatre. Lulu then grabbed Italy's coat sleeve.

"I wanna sit next to Italy!" she exclaimed, prompting a grin from Italy.

"Ve~ I'm gonna sit next to Doitsu, too!" he told us.

I gave Lulu a face. "Aren't I supposed to translate for you?" I asked.

Italy waved a hand at me as if to tell me not to worry about it. "I can translate, ve!"

Germany looked at me, then back at the other two. "I don't really care how we sit, but we better do it quickly."

So Lulu sat at one end of our group, next to Italy. Germany sat between Italy and me. Lulu and Italy chatted quietly as Ludwig and I sat in silence. Then the movie began. It was a silly romance, which wouldn't have been a problem otherwise. On the contrary, I quite liked to lose myself in a good love story. But since I was sitting next to Ludwig, for whom I had begun to manifest strong feelings, it was just awkward. I once felt my nose itch, but I was uncomprehendingly afraid to move in Ludwig's presence. What if I was clumsy? What if my hand came up too quickly and startled him? And if I lifted my hand slowly, wouldn't that just be awkward.

I had many of these internal conflicts in my head until about halfway through the movie, when I decided that it was time for me to just enjoy the movie. After all, that's what we came here for. So I relaxed my shoulders and brought my left hand to rest on the armrest.

Only Ludwig's hand was already there. It was big, warm… comforting. I didn't ever want to let go.

But I did, out of instinct. His eyes shot up to meet mine as I averted my gaze and withdrew my hand quickly. "I'm sorry!" I whispered, thankful the lighting did not grant him the chance to see that my face had turned bright red.

_Good going, me._

The event went unspoken of, though, and we soon found ourselves back at Ludwig's house with Italy making us warm, rich Italian food. We ate with hearty conversation, and I found that Ludwig and I surprisingly had a lot to talk about. We talked about family (drawing parallels between his reckless brother and my clueless father), friends (Italy mostly), and many other topics. Soon came the time for bed, and Lulu and Italy were the first to go. I helped Ludwig clean the kitchen.

As I washed dishes in the sink, I heard him say, "Your hands are soft."

I turned to look at him. "I'm sorry?" I asked, unsure I heard him correctly.

A pink blush tinted his cheeks slightly as he elaborated. "At the movies today… I noticed your hands are soft." After a short pause, he added, "They're nice."

"Th…thank you…" I turned back to the dishes before I let him see my blush. "Yours are…warm…"

Silence fell between us again, but it wasn't awkward at all. It was kind and comforting. Like the silence that reigns in a happy home.

**A/N: Oh, how I love to make my characters feel wonderfully awkward~! A little fluffies for the next few chapters, methinks. But don't you worry, my readers. They will get together. Soon. xD**

**So thank you for putting up with my random hiatuses. And general procrastination. *hopes you don't all hunt me down and kill me***


	10. Intermission 1

Intermission 1

Mission of Truth

_Saturday, April 11, 2001_

"I already know all this," Lulu suddenly interrupted me, looking impatient. "I was there for everything you've said so far."

I sighed but said nothing. I knew that her words were the truth, but my stubborn self wouldn't admit it.

"You're putting it off, Sarah," she accused. "I know you don't want to tell this story, but you have to tell someone someday. Those months were you ran off to Ludwig's and did your paperwork there… no one knows what happened then. I was in my own state then, so _I_ don't even know. And I was the only person, other than Gilbert and Feli, that even knew that you and Ludwig were—"

"Please," I pleaded, "just stop. I know I'm taking a while to get there, but you asked for the _whole_ story, and it started back then. So do you want me to continue or not?"

She shut her mouth and nodded at my words. I stood up. "Excuse me. I have to use the restroom." I walked away, trying to hide my tears. The storm outside worsened, and I knew I wasn't hiding anything successfully.

As soon as Sarah had closed the bathroom door, I slipped an earpiece into my ear.

"Did you get all that?" I whispered into the microphone tucked under the collar of my shirt.

"Every word," I heard Alfred's voice say into my ear. Alfred had stationed his high-tech eavesdropping devices in an empty house across the street. With him were Arthur and Alex.

The three of them had sent me on a mission to find out the truth about Sarah. They had all known something was up during WW2, but all knew that Sarah would never tell. The only person she would open up to in that way was me.

I was very cooperative. Only having bits and pieces of the truth myself, I was eager to find out the truth. I told the men the fragments of the story that I knew, and set out to find the rest of the story.

As Sarah had been telling her story, I found my old scar aching again. I shifted uncomfortably in my seat and spoke to my father once more.

"Sorry about the delay. I thought she'd skip everything I already knew, but if she needs to tell the entire story, then we have no choice but to listen."

"Hey, Luce?" Alfred sounded timid. "Did you really feel like that about me?"

I immediately knew he meant the hate I harbored for him, and cleared my throat. "Dad, that's all over with now. Does that even matter?"

"She's right. Just let past be past," I heard Alex reassure him.

"Gotta go. Sarah's coming." I shoved the earpiece in my pocket and less than a second later Sarah emerged from the bathroom. I sat up straight, plastered an understanding smile onto my face, and waited for Sarah to begin the next part of her story.


	11. Chapter 9

Chapter 9

My home-stay was on its twentieth day. I didn't bother to ignore my feelings at this point. I figured I only had ten more days to endure, then I could go home and forget this silly crush.

Ten very long days. Long, drawn-out, wonderful days. _Dammit._

Ludwig and I both sat at the desk in his office, working out paperwork. We would chat here and there, but mostly our time was spent in stressed, overworked silence. Then I put down my pen and looked at him.

"I just thought of something," I announced a bit loudly, breaking the silence that had descended upon us. He looked up from his paperwork, over his thin-rimmed glasses that oh my goodness made him look so handsome and wonderful—.

"Which is?" he asked at my silence. At this point, I'm fairly certain he had grown used to my stares and occasional empty-headedness. Which, I might point out, only happened when I was with him. I'd have something negative or serious to say, look at him to say it, and when his ice-blue eyes met mine my mind would go blank.

"I'm here to learn from you," I stated obviously.

Ludwig gave me a long stare. "Ja." After a beat of silence, he continued, "I'm sorry, but I'm not seeing your point."

"Well," I said quietly, "I've not really learned anything… I'm just doing my paperwork… and… yeah…"

Ludwig shrugged, looking back down at his paperwork. "This is really all there is to it. Paperwork. Checking in with the boss. Making sure nothing too drastic happens."

"Oh." I sounded disappointed. Probably because I was. I had thought that maybe there was some more exciting element to this whole… well, nation thing. But it was a rather mundane existence. I looked in the other room, where Lulu and Italy were giggling to one another, talking in hushed voices and occasionally throwing us a giddy glance. Italy was good company for Lulu, being a child at heart.

Ludwig put down his pen and removed his glasses, deep in thought. "When we go to war… I go. You know. Like in the last great war. I fought in it."

My eyes grew wide as my head snapped back to him. "Isn't that _dangerous_?"

"Ja, but it's more of a formality than anything else. And I'm not sure if anyone else does it. I just have this… sense of duty. I feel like I have to go show my people what it is to be a soldier. And my bruder is by my side always. Sometimes we'd sneak out of the base to fight somewhere. We felt compelled to. I could never ask my people to die in a war in which I do not fight."

There was a long silence. Was he confiding in me? How many people knew about this little fact? Did his own boss know?

"My dad fought too," I added at long last.

"Hmm?"

"My dad. Alfred. He was a pilot in the last war. He said he had a patriotic duty to fight, and I thought he was crazy. My brother and sisters didn't fight. I certainly didn't. But when you put it like that… I guess I understand it."

Ludwig smiled tersely. "Then he's more of a man than I thought." I waited for an explanation for this strange statement, but only received the sight of Ludwig putting on his glasses once more and picking up his pen. I could not do the same. I was now deep in thought, remembering various details my father had told me about the war, and about Germany. I hadn't had a face then to put the name to. But now, staring at the very man about whom my father used to say such terrible things, I could hardly believe my father's stories.

"Dad says you don't like France."

He gripped his pen slightly tighter, his body freezing. He did not speak.

"He said you blame France for how poorly your country is running."

Ludwig looked mad, but then let out a deep breath, his muscles still tense. "Do you blame me? The war started between two minor powers, and I was held solely responsible. I was helping a friend, as was my duty. And this is how I am rewarded. France pushed all the debt on me, for everyone else. All my money goes to his parties and extravagant lifestyle."

He cut off then, seeming to want to stop the conversation. He began signing papers again. I felt bad interrupting him again, but I felt compelled to keep talking.

"I don't like France either."

Ludwig looked up with interest, removing his glasses and folding his hands together in interest. "Oh?"

I paused, then took a deep breath. "He was the one who found me. I was living with the Indians when the powers began fanning across the Americas. France found me, he took me in. He was the first person I'd ever seen with my color eyes and hair. He treated me well, and I became his colony. He visited me all the time, especially during the revolution. He was my Papa," I snarled out the last word, and calmed myself down. "I loved him dearly, as a father. And then, when Napoleon was waging his wars, France was short on cash. So he sold me to America. Without a qualm. He never even said goodbye to me. He came to my cabin with America and handed me over."

Silence once again reigned in the room and Ludwig shrugged. "It was probably for the best."

I glared at him. "It was for the _best_ that my father _sold_ me?"

He caught the venom in my tone and went on the defense. "I know it sounds bad, but… Don't you love America now, as a father?"

I pondered this for a moment. I'd never thought of this before. "I… I suppose. He's a good mentor, even if somewhat air-headed. He's always done what's best for my brothers and sisters and me…"

"And what if you'd stayed with France? Could you say that now?"

I shrugged. "I don't know. I'm a citizen of America now. If I wasn't his daughter, if I was just America's colony… I suppose it wouldn't matter either way." I couldn't help but think of Lulu as I said this. She was just a colony. And she was treated rather terribly. America had gone in and grabbed her, forced his views on her, and dumped her with me to become a "civilized" person. And when he would see her now, he usually made a point to ignore her. He only listened to me when it came to her well-being.

Ludwig broke my thoughts by letting out a short breath out of his nose. "At least America doesn't chase every skirt he sees." I blushed deeply at the thought, and he quickly amended, "I'm sorry, that was rather inappropriate."

"I-it's fine," I choked out, shaking my head to rid myself of the mental images now pouring into my mind. "I suppose you're right." I leaned back in my chair, my left hand still resting on the desk. I was surprised when I felt warmth on it, and saw Ludwig's hand placed on mine. I stared at it for a moment, then up at his face which was watching mine. His face was somber, but his cheeks slightly pink.

"It… it's alright. We all have parts of history we'd like to forget. It's not all good memories." We both froze, as though we both were wondering how the conversation had turned to this route.

His eyes bore into mine, and I could feel him searching, watching for something. I searched also, kept my eyes on his. What was I looking for again? I found it. There was a deep sense of comfort within me, a warming of my whole body. I registered that Lulu and Italy had gone silent, but paid no mind. Looking into Ludwig's eyes felt like home. As though I had been adrift for many years, and he was the wind-swept shores of my home.

Almost suddenly, we snapped back into reality, withdrawing our hands quickly and looking back at our papers. I picked up my pen and worked diligently.

_What the Hell was that? He just touched… he held… he…_

And almost casually, Ludwig added, "If I had been France… I would never have let you go."

I stared at him for a moment, and he stared pointedly at his work, as if he was engrossed in a crossword puzzle. My mind reacted explosively to this comment, and I considered forcing him to explain that very leading statement.  
_He is a country and I am a state. Ten days till I'm home. He is a country. One my father hates. I am a state. But he's so nice and thoughtful in his own—stop it! He is a country!_

I went back to my paperwork reluctantly.

* * *

**A/N: No, I don't have any more excuses. Please accept the fact that I will update slowly and irregularly due to many factors. I am a terrible author for it, but such is life.**

** For people sticking with me and providing me with wonderful reviews, thank you kindly. Thanks for being a lot easier on me than I'm being on myself.**


	12. Chapter 10

Chapter 10

My last day in Ludwig's house had finally come. He took me and Lulu out for lunch (Feliciano accompanying us) before going to his second job for a quick shift. He had told me that he would soon be able to quit that job, as his country seemed to be doing a bit better under the new management. Some of the financial reforms Hitler proposed were almost outlandish in my opinion, but ingenious. He came home after Lulu had already fallen asleep, and I was packing the last of my things.

I didn't even realize he was home until he said from my doorway, "Early flight tomorrow."

I jumped, turning to face him. "Geez, don't scare me like that!" After a beat of silence, I turned back to folding my clothes. "But yes, I'll be going home in the morning."

He cleared his throat almost sheepishly. "I hope the trip was as educational as it was supposed to be."

I blushed, but he couldn't see it, so I said, "It was. I learned a lot."

"I didn't think I would, but I did, too."

I turned to look at him, to find him blushing. _Why am I blushing so much? And why is he? Gah, what are we, schoolgirls?_

He then smiled slightly, not quite reaching his eyes, and I asked, "Why do you do that?" At his confused stare, I continued, "Why do you smile if you don't mean it? The only smiles I've seen from you were fake." I then realized what I was saying and averted my gaze to the floor. "I… sorry. That was rude."

"No, it was honest." He shrugged. "I suppose it's just what I'm used to. Smile so no one suspects anything could be wrong."

"Well, that's a terrible way to live," I said sadly. "You should be more honest with them. Don't pretend you're something you're not. It'll only get you hurt…" I trailed off, realizing the bitter truth of my words and their applicability to me.

Then, before I could even say anything, he was beside me. He picked up a shirt, his arm brushing up against mine, and started to fold it. "Well," he began, "in all honesty, I wish you could stay longer."

"Really?" I mentally slapped myself for sounding so damn happy about it. "That's flattering." I paused, and then turned to him. "If… if you were to decide, how long would I be here?" I asked shyly, heavily considering each word before I let it leave my mouth.

He turned to face me, and our eyes locked. I felt the calming, soothing feeling sweep over me once more, my eyes so focused on his that I even forgot that I would normally be blushing. In our gaze, he lost all sense of formality. His hand, large, warm, and slightly rough, came up to touch my cheek, his knuckles grazing my cheekbone. My eyes closed momentarily, and I leaned into the touch. I opened them again, and in his eyes was something I could not read. Something that had been there all along, since we first met, which hid behind his shyness and sense of propriety. Before I could even recognize that something was happening, I found us so close, his lips so close to mine.

"I would have you as long as you would stay," he whispered, his breath tickling my lips.

So I closed the distance. Our lips met, and I felt dizzy from the rush of sensations. His lips were so warm, so soft, yet so firm upon mine. Assertive. Almost confident. I couldn't ignore the quite apparent surprise, but after a moment, his lips curved to match mine. My hands crept up his chest, my arms entwining around his neck as his held my close by the small of my back. My breath was short and shallow, and I could barely stand from the excitement. Then, before I could truly appreciate the feeling, we were suddenly apart. I don't know who did it; it could have been either, or both, of us. But we were abruptly standing on other sides of the room, my back against one of my bedposts and him against the wall opposite me. My hand flew up to my mouth, where my fingers lightly touched my lower lip. _Wait, did that… did we… what?_

"I…" Ludwig murmured. I looked at him curiously, my eyes still wide with surprise at the situation I had just been in. "I'm sorry."

I opened my mouth to tell him not to apologize, but he was out the door. I just stood there a moment to assess the situation.

Ludwig had kissed me. No, I had kissed him. But he certainly led me into it.

It was absolutely wonderful.

He left suddenly.

Something was missing here. And I took a deep breath, steadied myself, and walked out my door to go find out what. I found him in the kitchen standing in front of a counter, his head buried in his hands.

He didn't notice me there, so I asked quietly, "Did you mean it?"

He turned around to face me, his hair slightly disheveled from being torn at. "What?"

"What you said earlier." I approached him slowly. "Did you mean it?"

He sighed, "About you staying here?" I nodded, and he sighed again. "Ja, I meant it. That doesn't mean it needed to be said."

"No, it did." I surprised myself with my boldness. "Even if nothing comes of it, I'm glad everything is out in the open."

He shook his head, turning around to face away from me. "Do you _want_ nothing to come of it?"

"No…" I approached him again, standing just behind him. I lifted my hands, and they found themselves resting on his back.

He turned around, and my hands fell once more. "Then… do you want something to come of this?"

I nodded, my eyes on his. "Yes."

He gave me a tense smile. "You know how hard it will be. I know you do."

It was my turn to turn away, away from the ugly truth I already knew. "I do know. But I don't care. I'll… I'll do anything to make this work."

Hesitantly, his arms wrapped around me. I felt tears spring up in my eyes. How in the Hell had this happened anyway?

And what in God's name was I getting myself into?

**A/N: I ran out of ideas for home-stay days… I won't lie. Plus, if this story is about their love, I figured I should get to the… well, the love part.**

** Again, thank you for your patience.**


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